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wolfish_willowAuthor:
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wolfish_willowPairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: nc-17 overall, pg-13 this part
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort
Spoilers: Anything up to and including 5.14
Warnings: angsty!Gabriel (switchin' it up!... or not)
Word Count: 1324
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just using them for a bit of fun. They belong to Kripke.
Summary: Gabriel goes all angsty, and Sam suffers for it. (AU from 5.14 - so all episodes after My Bloody Valentine are being totally and utterly disregarded. *nodnod*)
Chapter Summary: Gabriel worries about Sam's reaction to him
A/N: beta'd by
ladyeternal Thanks so much, bb! Any remaining mistakes are my own.
Masterpost
Gabriel thought he’d prepared himself for every reaction Sam might have upon seeing him: anger, or at least mild irritation, confusion, to be ignored completely or some quiet attempt at civility. What he hadn’t expected, ever, had been Sam avoiding eye contact and running into the bathroom to get away from him. In his mind, Sam wanted Gabriel out of his space, sure, but he figured Sam would do whatever he could to make Gabriel leave. Not lock himself away in another room. He stood, open mouthed, staring at the door in what felt suspiciously like shock. There was very little in the world that could truly surprise him, and Sam had managed to do just that.
Dean practically snarling in his face brought him out of his stunned stupor; though the older Winchester seemed to realize that pushing his way into an archangel’s space wasn’t the most intelligent idea. But really, Gabriel couldn’t imagine getting angry at the human when he knew he was the one at fault. He’d been the one to end his and Sam’s relationship, after all. Finally Gabriel snapped out of his thoughts and back to the situation at hand. Dean was still glaring at him, though to the hunter’s credit he was waiting on Gabriel before saying anything else.
He felt the guilt showing on his face and knew he’d have to come clean to Dean about the break-up; the fact that Sam hadn’t told Dean the night it happened didn’t make any sense to the archangel. Sam looked livid with him… Gabriel thought he’d take the first possible chance to get Dean against the Trickster again – that thought now only served to make him feel even guiltier, because Sam wasn’t that kind of person. But he’d seen the realization in Sam’s eyes that the Trickster had only ever been horrible to them, that they couldn’t work after everything Gabriel had done, so he just assumed Sam’s feelings about him would go back to what they’d been before the angel decided to join Team Free Will.
So he’d been more than a little surprised when he hadn’t even been called on to hear the wrath of Dean Winchester, if for nothing else than to ream him for all the crap he’d done to them in the past. But then he’d just convinced himself it was because Sam agreed with his reason for the split, even if it hurt to think that Sam could so easily be over it. But Sam’s reaction to him this time around certainly didn’t point to being completely all right with everything.
He took a deep, unnecessary breath and blew it out slowly. He really didn’t want to get into this with Dean, but he planned on helping the brothers out more in the future – which couldn’t be done if he had to avoid Dean on top of avoiding Sam.
“He’s… avoiding me,” Gabriel said quietly, averting his gaze from the older Winchester. He waited a moment in silence before finally looking back at Dean. The hunter looked completely bewildered his brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what the archangel meant.
“And why exactly would he do that?” Dean asked slowly. Gabriel thought it looked like he was piecing a puzzle together. That wouldn’t have seemed weird, since he sort of was, but it didn’t feel like they were really on the same page here. Sure, they were both trying to figure out what was going on with Sam’s behavior, but it looked like Dean had more on his mind that just this night. He couldn’t dwell on it, though; he had a question to answer.
The archangel sighed, really not wanting to go into this. He found himself wondering again why Sam hadn’t told his brother after it happened. But he decided to try figuring that out later; he couldn’t handle that on top of everything else right then. Gabriel sat down on Sam’s bed again, facing Dean’s bed and the large, curtain-covered window. He watched as Dean sat on the other bed across from him so they were facing each other again.
“We’re not..,” Gabriel stopped, clearing his throat before continuing. “We’re not together anymore,” he finished quietly.
“Not together? As in..?”
“We broke up,” Gabriel answered bluntly, barely reining in his wince at his own words.
Across from Gabriel, Dean’s eyes had gone wide before he closed them and ran his hand down his face. The hunter sighed and rubbed his eyes roughly, then looked back at Gabriel. The former-Trickster couldn’t keep his confusion off his face when the oldest Winchester didn’t try to take a swing at him – didn’t even look like he wanted to. He looked like he understood – which, okay sure, it might explain why Sam had avoided him and everything, but why wasn’t Dean trying to take his head off?
Gabriel was busy trying to work out exactly what the meant when the hunter spoke.
“That actually explains a lot,” he breathed out, quietly, as though speaking to himself more than to Gabriel.
Explains a lot of what? – the archangel thought. What would need more explanation than Sam’s reaction to him before? He couldn’t really have missed that much, could he?
He was about to ask as much when he heard the bathroom door opening slowly behind him.
Gabriel stood at the same time as Dean and turned to see Sam slowly making his way out of the bathroom; the younger hunter was looking at the ground, his head bowed enough to keep his eyes hidden beneath his bangs. The archangel was used to seeing Sam hunch over in an attempt to make himself appear smaller, but this just felt different. He’d never seen the Winchester act that way around him. Even when he ended things between them, Sam had looked him right in the eye.
But he didn’t this time. He stood there in front of Gabriel and Dean looking like he was about to face a firing squad. Gabriel couldn’t stand seeing his human that way – when did he start thinking of Sam as his again? The archangel took a small step toward Sam but stopped when the youngest Winchester tensed more, taking a matching step back. It just wasn’t right, wasn’t normal and he needed to say something, do something to get Sam to look at him.
“Sam, I –“
“Please... please just go,” Sam’s soft plea cut off Gabriel’s words. Not that he’d have been able to push them past the lump formed in his throat at catching the raw, unguarded look in Sam’s eyes when they finally lifted to meet Gabriel’s. He didn’t know what to do to make this better; he just wanted to make everything better. Sam looked so broken standing there in front of him, so small and Gabriel didn’t know how to bring the old Sam back. He opened his mouth to try again and Sam shook his head, wetness gathering in his eyes as the hunter spoke again.
“I just need to be alone for awhile…”
Gabriel’s heart clenched when he heard the uncertainty in Sam’s voice. Like Gabriel wouldn’t do exactly what he’d been asked to do, if Sam asked it of him? But then, the archangel didn’t have a great track record for listening to Sam in the past; why would Sam expect him to start? He couldn’t stand to see that look, to be the cause of that look on Sam’s face. Gabriel didn’t try to speak again; just snapped himself from the room, anywhere than in that room.
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no subject
on 2010-06-26 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-06-26 07:22 am (UTC)Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
no subject
on 2010-06-26 08:33 am (UTC)Please fix them *wibbles*
no subject
on 2010-06-26 09:01 am (UTC)I actually just finished my "fix them" outline. We're so close, I promise!
Thanks so much for commenting! <3<3<3
no subject
on 2010-06-26 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-06-26 11:33 am (UTC)I love this and you know I love it. So I have no idea why I didn't say this when I sent you back the beta'd chappy: please consider cross-posting this series to
no subject
on 2010-06-26 10:41 pm (UTC)Yesh, that icon is love. <3
Thanks so much for commenting and the suggestions for the chapter. It flows so much better now. <3<3<3
no subject
on 2010-06-26 10:45 pm (UTC)It's a brand spanky new comm, co-modded by me, morganoconner and miya_tenaka. We just launched it this week, and we're all really excited about it!
I'm literally going internet dark for about a week, because I'm moving into my new house tomorrow and the internets won't be set up until Thursday or Friday. Apologies for any delay this may cause in beta'ing Ch. 8. :-(
no subject
on 2010-06-26 07:31 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-06-26 10:42 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for commenting. <3<3<3
no subject
on 2010-06-26 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2010-06-26 10:43 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for reading and commenting! <3<3<3
no subject
on 2010-06-28 09:48 am (UTC)I may be biased because I want more, but this seems like the worst nail-biter of the entire bunch. These chapters have all been so good, and they've gone by so quickly.
Pretty, pretty please let me know when you post more. :)
no subject
on 2010-07-05 02:49 am (UTC)You know, I never really thought of this one as being much of a cliffhanger. When I finished writing it, I went straight to the next part so it wasn't eating away at me like the others. But with it being stuck here so long, I can see what you mean. *nodnod*
Thanks so much for the awesome comment.
no subject
on 2010-07-05 06:17 am (UTC)I'm looking forward to the next installment so very much, whenever you post it.
By the way, do you mind if I add you to my friends list - I don't want to miss any of your writing, and you seem like a lovely human being? I always like to ask first.
no subject
on 2010-07-05 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-07-05 08:50 am (UTC):D
Yaaaay, new friends!
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on 2010-07-05 08:51 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-07-05 01:17 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-07-05 02:47 am (UTC)Thanks so much for reading and commenting! <3<3<3
no subject
on 2010-07-07 08:27 am (UTC)♥
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on 2010-07-09 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
on 2010-07-17 10:44 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for the great comment. Sorry it took so long to reply. <3<3<3
no subject
on 2010-07-17 01:22 pm (UTC)I hope he fixes it.
no subject
on 2010-07-17 10:44 pm (UTC)Thanks for the comment! <3<3<3
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