fic: Promises - Sam/Gabriel

[wolfish_willow]

Title: Promises
Author: wolfish_willow
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel
Rating: NC-17
Genre: angst
Spoilers: 5.19 (HotG)
Warnings: unbeta'd
Word Count: 2097
Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just using them for a bit of fun. They belong to Kripke.
Summary: Gabriel finds a broken Sam. This is the archangel trying to fix the hunter.

A/N 1: Written for drabblewriter's prompt at The SPN MusicalCommentFic Meme:
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

(Evanescence, My Immortal)

I saw this prompt days ago and it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote something. I kept going with it and decided instead of letting it end all angsty, I would add some p0rn and see where it went. I don't know if it is at all what the prompter had in mind, but it's what my muse saw fit to write...

A/N 2: I wrote this all in practically one sitting and haven't looked it over, so I'm sure it's riddled with mistakes. Feel free to point any out. I'll probably send it to be beta'd later, when I've got the patience to send an email...

Gabriel watched with sad eyes as Sam shrunk further away from him, curled further into himself. The youngest Winchester closed his eyes and the archangel was unable to do anything to help. He tried speaking to Sam, tried to get the hunter to listen, but Sam only lifted his arms, curling his fingers into his shaggy brown hair and pulled at it while muttering to himself.

"You're not real. You're not... you... you're dead. Felt it... felt you die. Not real - not..." over and over and over again and it broke Gabriel's heart to see his human so broken. All he wanted to do was pull Sam into his arms and cradle the man against his chest, but each time he reached out Sam's trembling grew more violent, his words even faster, begging him to go away and stop haunting him.

But Gabriel wasn't trying to haunt him. He was just trying to get Sam to look at him. Really look at him, because yes, he had been stabbed. And it had taken a hell of a lot of juice to trick Lucifer into thinking he was dead, to trick everyone. (Unfortunately, that meant Sam couldn't know he was still alive.) There was always the risk that Gabriel might be found out through him, and the archangel wouldn't have enough strength after his stunt to defend himself or Sam. So he made the bond between him and his human feel as he'd been stabbed and didn't allow Sam to feel that he'd lived through it.

Looking at Sam, where even in his dreams he was as much a mess as he was in waking life, Gabriel wished he could just go back and redo it, risk Lucifer finding out about him (but he was still recovering, and even when he fully recharged, he didn't think he'd be able to fix this) . Because seeing Sam curled over into a ball, making his normally large frame look so small, Gabriel knew he'd been that last straw, what pushed Sam over the edge. And that hurt. It hurt as much as it did to watch Sam flinch away from him when he tried to move closer again.

Eventually it became too much to just stand by and he rushed forward, ignoring the way Sam scrambled back from him, and pulled Sam back against his chest, rocking him back and forth gently

"I promise you I'm real. I promise Sammy," he murmured into Sam's hair, brushing his lips over the young man's temple. He felt Sam's shoulders start to shake against his chest and tightened his grip around him when he heard Sam speak again.

"Please... please stop... I-I can't. L-leave me alone, stop coming here. You... always... Y-you p-promise, say I'll see you again. B-but I know, I know you aren't really here. So please, s-stop. Why do you keep doing this to me..?" His voice was so small, shaking and stuttering out the words and Gabriel knew he had to try and fix this. Fix Sam.

The archangel lifted Sam and turned him so he could take Sam's face in his hands and rest their foreheads together. He thumbed away the tears that soaked Sam's cheeks, even as more continued to fall. Gabriel kept stroking Sam's cheeks and allowed the human time to calm down, until Sam's sobs softened into short hiccups in breath.

"Sam, I promise you that I'm here. I'm really here and it's me and I'm okay. I know now that I screwed up, I should have told you from the start that I made it through everything alive, but I can't change that now. What I can do is prove that I'm real. If you'll let me. Will you let me, Sam? Please..."

He pulled his head back from Sam's, never moving his hands from the human's face, as he waited for a response. Gabriel could see the emotions flashing across Sam's face; the disbelief that Gabriel was real, the fear of waking up without the angel again, the despair he'd been stuck in since Gabriel had left him, and the smallest glimmer of hope, of wanting to believe that this Gabriel was the real one and not just his subconcious messing with him again.

Almost immediately after Gabriel saw the hope flicker in Sam, he felt the human nod into his hands, his eyes wide and pleading with him to let this be real. Gabriel just pushed Sam's hair back from his forehead and carded his fingers through it, calming the human even more before pulling Sam to stand with him.

Before, Sam's dreamscape had been empty, save for the two of them, but as Gabriel pulled Sam up it changed around them. It didn't look like much, more than likely just one of the many motels the Winchesters had stayed in over the years, but it had a bed large enough for the both of them and that's all Gabriel really needed.

He guided Sam onto the bed and gently pushed Sam into mattress with his body as he settled himself over the hunter. Gabriel held himself up, with a hand resting by either side of Sam's head, and looked down at the man beneath him. He looked into Sam's eyes again, and though he could still see the doubt and fear (hell, he could feel it radiating off the kid), the hope from before was beginning to show itself even further as Gabriel leaned in and captured Sam's lips with his own in a slow, gentle kiss.

Their lips moved together, so different than all the other times they'd done this together. When Gabriel felt Sam's hands lift off the mattress and tentatively slide up his back, he ran his tongue slowly over Sam's lips. He could feel Sam tense under him and feared, for a moment, that Sam wouldn't give him a chance to finish this, to prove this to him. But then he felt Sam's fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt against his back, felt Sam's lips part more for him and let himself get lost in the feel of Sam's mouth, their tongues sliding together.

Soon, though, it was enough and Gabriel lifted one hand to work at the buttons of Sam's overshirt. When Sam didn't tense with this new movement, Gabriel released his mouth to kiss his way down Sam's jaw, slowly working his way down Sam's neck. He sucked on Sam's pulse point and couldn't fight the shiver of triumph that ran through him when he heard (and felt) Sam's moan escape the hunter's lips. Gabriel smiled against Sam's neck before licking at the mark he had most certainly left on the human and continuing down, a trail of kisses down until he finished undoing every button and pushed Sam's shirt over his shoulders, letting the human lift enough to remove it the rest of the way.

Gabriel made quick work of Sam's belt, jeans and boxers; he didn't want to wait any longer to feel Sam's skin against his own. Sam's hands, that had gripped at his back once more after his shirt back been removed, lowered until they could grip the hem of his shirt and tugged at it until Gabriel lifted his arms and let Sam pull it off. He grinned down at the human before lifting himself enough to get rid of the rest of his clothes.

He took his time preparing Sam, thankful that he still had enough mojo to conjure up some lube (as it seemed Sam didn't think to add any to his little dreamscape). Gabriel his way up Sam's stomach, chest, and neck until he finally reached the human's lips, swallowing down Sam's moans as he scissored and stretched his fingers just the way Sam always responded so well to.

Before long Gabriel felt Sam trying to roll his hips; he pulled back from their kiss again, removing his fingers from Sam. He heard Sam whimper at the loss, and it pulled him back into the reality of why he was doing this, reminded him of Sam whimpering and muttering to himself, so utterly broken not longer before. Gabriel wasted no time in aligning himself with Sam and slowly pushing himself into the tight heat that he'd been missing for so long. The sounds Sam made as he pushed in, the wanton moans, the feel of the human's legs wrapping around him, hands gripping hard onto his hips urged him to continue on in one swift movement until he was buried to the hilt.

He buried his face into Sam's neck as he forced himself to keep still, allow the man beneath him time to adjust. Sam's fingers dug further into his skin and the legs wrapped around his chest pushed him up until Gabriel could no longer ignore Sam's attempts to get him to move. He pulled back and thrust in, hard and deep, pulling a surprised moan from Sam's throat before doing it again. Gabriel pressed a kiss to Sam's shoulder and lifted it, intent on watching Sam. His eyes were met by hooded, lust-blown pupils - only a sliver of color detectable - and Gabriel saw nothing but that desire, that hope; he'd apparently done a good job in his reassurance so far.

They kept up a fast, rough rythym against each other until Gabriel could feel that tell-tale heat pooling in his belly, the tingling at the base of his spine. Then he wrapped his left hand around his human's - his Sam's - cock and tugged a rhythym to match his thrusts, pressing his right hand over Sam's hip, fingers spread wide against him.

He felt Sam clench around him as the human came over his hand, spilling between them. It was almost too much, but Gabriel held off long enough to cover Sam's eyes before coming apart, letting loose just enough grace for Sam to feel against his left hip. Gabriel kept thrusting until he was completely spent and finally pulled himself from Sam, flopping onto his back beside the hunter. Sam looked sated, but exhausted and Gabriel only noticed the new tears on Sam's cheek after he came back to himself more.

Sam didn't stop crying when Gabriel pulled the human to lay against his chest, just turned to hide his face against the angel's neck and released a choked, sobbing sound. Gabriel ran his fingers through Sam's hair and let him cry against his neck, bringing up the covers over their bodies before wrapping an arm around Sam's waist and bringing him closer. It felt like hours before Sam pulled himself together enough to shift his head until it was laying on the archangel's shoulder, resting a hand over Gabriel's heart.

"Y-you.." Sam stopped and cleared his throat. "You left me..." he finished quietly and Gabriel closed his eyes tightly, his fingers pausing their movement in Sam's hair. He breathed out and started combing through Sam's hair against before opening his eyes and speaking.

"I know, I know I did. But I'm back, I swear to you Sam. And there won't be any getting rid of me again." He moved a hand to press against Sam's left hip. Sam hissed softly, the skin tender to his touch, like it had been the first time he'd claimed the human as his.

"I'm still... recharging so to speak," Gabriel continued, loosening his grip on Sam's waist when the human pushed up to look at him, "This was all real, I promise you, but it's taking me longer than I'd thought to pull myself back together. But just know when you wake up... know that you still have me. I'm not leaving you ever again." Gabriel stroked Sam's cheeks once more, soothing away the worried lines on his human's face.

"So, you won't be here when I wake up..." Sam said, sounding defeated.

"No," Gabriel sighed, "But you're going to feel me when you wake up in the morning," he finished, trademark smirk in place. He nearly pumped his hand in the air in victory at the huff of laughter he got from Sam. It wasn't much, but he'd gotten Sam to look at him, to see him, to believe him. And Sam may have still been broken, but at least now he knew there was hope. And that was all Gabriel could ask for right then.

Well that, and for Sam to stay in his dream long enough for them to lay together awhile longer. He didn't want to let go of what was his again until he absolutely had to.